Parenting 101:
But I Waaaaaant one Naaaaaoooooooow!
The
sound of a whining child can jangle your nerves like the sound of
fingernails down a blackboard. That high pitched plaintive cry repeated
over and over again can irritate like nothing else especially if you
are tired, rushing to get out, or trying to concentrate on something.
How can you stop it in its tracks?
We probably don’t need to tell you but you know you have a whiner
when:
• they target one parent with their behaviour and relentlessly
pursue them,
• they lose the ability to respond rationally to the situation,
and
• at it’s worst the whiner almost becomes trance-like
and difficult to reach.
Sound familiar? So what do we do about it?
1. Zero tolerance on whining
Try phrases such as “whiners get nothing” or “when
you talk in that whiny way I can’t hear what you are saying”.
Don’t ever give in to the whiner as this just confirms to them
that the tactic works and they will try it again and again and again!
2. Teach them an alternative
Give your child other options or alternative behaviours to focus on
instead. Teach them that the way to get a response from you is to
talk in their “normal” voice.
3. Nip it in the bud the moment it starts
Be firm and clear about what behaviour you expect, the more we ignore
it the more they will dig themselves into a hole and the harder it
will be to get them out of it.
One tip which works well with smaller children is to open the front door and ask them to give you the whining voice (you pretend it is in your hand) then you throw it out of the door and shut it. This often helps them to get out of the pattern of behaviour and move on.
Most children grow out of whining, so time is on your side, some of us still do it occasionally when we are all grown up – you know who you are!
(Extracted from the seminar Discipline – Finding the Balance)
